velour_mane (velour_mane) wrote,

i don't know what to doooooo!!!!!

just when i thought i had everything figured out... something happens to just make me completely second guess myself again. i was so angry at him the last couple weeks and now im just not. all i can think about is what if it doesnt work out in the end, then i'll be really upset. i can't handle it. i dont even know what else to write. i almost dont want to write anything else.
though i am not happy that i have a time limit here. supposedly tomorrow i will know everything. i hate this so much! why did my life have to get turned upside down. everything i thought would never happen did happen and now i dont know what to do with myself.
i feel like i want to be really sure this is it. what if i still want more time, does that mean he's gone forever? im pretty sure that's what he said. i hate this so much. why does it have to be hard. im tired of other people trying to tell me what is right and i just want to give up trying anything and let it all work out, except i have to make decisions. i hate making decisions. i wish i didnt have to.
none of that made any sense at all.
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